the shady attempts of a southpaw to knit. or in other words, how to reverse decreases and knit right handed continental.


2 more months!

so i've been kinda on hiatus with my blogging - the digital camera is not working all so great, so i'm not posting any pics of all the things i've been knitting. i've got presents finished galore and the last present to finish will be my dads so i can send the christmas package out on saturday.
on the pregnancy front, i just have 7 weeks to go, and our beautiful Zoe will be here. for the life of me i can't seem to type in the umlaut required on top of the e, but i'm going to figure it out dang it.


she gets crazier every day

well - i've not yet finished my jaywalkers, but i did finish 3 - count em! THREE odessa hats this week. i'm also knitting spencer a new pair of socks, to replace the pair he felted a few weeks ago. this time, i'm the only person allowed to wash them. they're using the techguy pattern from magknits, where the odessa is located as well. it's been a productive week, and while i still have a long way to go in the next couple of days, i think we'll be ready for the roomate by friday. i have a friend who is about to leave to travel the world in january, and she'll be staying with us until then. hopefully it will be a peaceful situation for all parties involved.


a long time

it's been about 5 months. i can't believe all the anxiety that was in my heart and all the questions i had. i'm at peace, and all is well. i've been such a slacker in taking care of my soul and doing the things i adore. i did take that position at work. and then quit. i certainly wish i had never taken it in the first place. but no regrets. i'm finally knitting again. i'm working on christmas presents, since i haven't picked up the needles in seriously 5 months. i finished a hat and scarf set yesterday. i'm working on jaywalker sock number 1 and also crocheting a hat to give. the set of jaywalkers i will give to a friend who is leaving to travel the world in a few months. i will probably knit a second pair for a friend going on the same trip. sure, they'll get a little beat up over the course of 11 months, but it's the thought that counts. how things have changed. Zoe is kicking like a mad woman and oh yes. i'm 5 1/2 months pregnant. when all the world seemed a storm, the Lord gave us a little girl. just 4 1/2 months to go, and we'll see her sweet face.



it feels more passing than before. i am not a complete wreck anymore, and i think the Lord is giving me grace. i may be speaking pre-maturely, but maybe this first little skirmish is won. i hope. i will pass this. i will come out purified.


i'm breaking


bought with the precious blood...

so it's been 2 weeks. a lot has happened. s came to church with me, and really liked it. that was really awesome, but there is a small sense of guilt involved. she has worked with me at starbucks since the first day i started, and i think i only talked to her about the Lord once. and that was 2 weeks ago. what kind of life am i living, if i am afraid to say His name? so, i was offered the asm position, and i turned it down. there was a very strong feeling of 2 open doors, one being the Lord's will. i think that when it comes down to it, i cannot justify taking a pay raise, but being unable to share my faith or life with others in the process. she is one of the reasons i turned it down. i want to see her come to know the Lord, and really know Him. there is another girl at work who is a "believer" but not really living it. i don't know her heart, nor will i pretend that i know what she's walking through, but she witnesses openly, after talking about the person she brought home from the bar the night before. she uses drugs and professes Christ, and i have a problem with that kind of witness. maybe it smacks too much of the baptist church i went to when i first moved to Georgia, but i cannot help but think that our lives and our words are inextricably intertwined. so my fear for s is one that cannot be avoided.. the fear of other believers. that those who claim Christ, but do not submit to Him will turn her off from following Him. my fears are probably groundless, but i feel very protective of her spiritual growth, and i worry about what distractions present themselves in front of her spiritual path. on the other hand, the other major reason i turned down the position was this new possibility of moving to ireland. spencer's friend from ireland is fairly well connected within the highest levels of british government, and irish government as well. which seems really pretentious to type, but this man is so ridiculously down to earth, you don't realize he went to birthday parties at windsor palace. he told spencer that all we need to do is come visit, and get a feel for ireland, and if we want to move, that he will help us with all the necessities, like visas, jobs, and places to stay. i don't know what i think about all this, but i am trying not to think too much about it. there is a reason that this door is presenting itself, and when the time comes, the Lord will show us the path to take.
and how quick He is to answer our prayers. the prayers i make for character, He answers them swiftly. i need His chastening, and His discipline. Lord, as much as i complain, keep me under your thumb, and in your hands.


one who cares for me

i am settling into what is ahead... i am trying to search less and be found more and remembering that regardless (or irregardless) of what comes, there is One who cares for me. there is an Eisley song on my myspace titled head against the sky and there is a line that says "there is one who cares for me today" i am trying to learn to trust. Lord, help me let go of all the things i hold onto. help me know you. when i cannot see your hands moving, help me look at your face....

i don't know that everything in our future will work out the way i planned... in fact i should plan for it to be completely different. but i know i know i know i know that there is One who cares for me. even when i am confused and searching and lost and doubting. He will direct my steps and even if all forsake me, He will remain. Though He slay me, yet will i trust Him. i feel sometimes as if i have been laying on an altar for nearly 7 years.

He will kill me, and i will arise in Him. Lord, let these things die that need to die. let me be purified. let me live the name you gave me. Pure.